Close Encounters of the Ex Kind

I was felt up by my ex boyfriend today.

Granted, it was in a dark room at a sex club, but that's beside the point!

He clearly had sized me up and knew who I was -- and then made the choice to put the moves on me. But I could see nothing.

However, as this stranger approached me (like a twink, not a seasoned leatherman) I could smell cologne. Cologne has no place in a sex club anyway but this was oddly familiar. I then reached down and felt a dick that I was once familiar with before (the appendage dick, not the dick of a person standing in front of me).

I was so thrown by this that I left. But in my car, I came to the realization that he still wants me and just how wonderfully satisfying that is since he can't have me and never will. I pity him, actually - because of him dumping me I now have a wonderful family -- and all he has is a skinny chubby-chaser 20 year old twink who loves him conditionally because he's fat.

Life is sweet...!

the financially rich and morally bankrupt party

I'm not a Republican, but I'm saving up to become one ;)
-Emo Phillips, 2006

Butch not Bitch

C'mon guys... why do some of you you refer to yourself as being a bitch or a man cunt? Why in the world would you use a feminine reference or refer to your asshole as a thing that babies come out of?

Perhaps someone can explain this and provide some gay enlightenment.

I'm waiting with abated breath...

-Lthrbound

what to say

WHAT'S UP

Cripes. I get unusually ruffled by guys who approach me online with one or two word messages.

The classics are "What's up?" or "Hey dude" or the worst of them all "Yo".

Invariably, these come from bottoms whom I have never chatted with. Now, I do get messages from friends who sincerely want to know what I've been up to. No problem with that. It's the others that piss me off - and they are looking to play.

Funny thing is that these guys almost always have no picture in their profile. Hmmmm? Some relation or a repeating fluke?

What do they get in return? Usually one word.

TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD

Chaka had it right!

I want to know that someone has truly read the profile. A meaningful inquiry is always appreciated. I put it all out there- witholding only my telephone number and shoe size.

DIAMONDS ARE NOT A BOY'S BEST FRIEND

Anyone who is solely interested in the gear is not a good match. Someone like the Bard once said "Toys do not a good top make." (or something like that)

The guy who mentions something about the person behind all the gear -- that's the one who gets my attention. It's all about the personal connection and dynamic. When it comes to gear, my partner always says a hankie and a pair of cuffs is all he needs for a good time. Exactly!

WANT A CHANCE AT A SESSION?

Ask any businessman - first impressions are everything. Here's the secret hit list for your first message:

- Prove to me that you've actually read the profile.
- Tell me something about what you find appealing about me or what I do.
- Take the time to craft something meaningful.
- Be honest.
- Have a picture of your face in your profile or attach it to that first message.

WHAT COMES NEXT

If you have enough in your profile for me to size up your intent and experience (none req'd) -- and you have real photographs which show me a window into your soul -- then a direct invite might just happen.

If you're profile makes me the least bit suspect -- you will get a request asking to meet face-to-face first. If you don't take that lead and follow up on setting a time/place then nothing will happen. Nothing.

If you state outright that you want to meet first with no expectations, you will always get a sincere yes from me and we will meet.