A brilliant comeback by Lthrbound

Some old troll (we'll call him "Fatman" for now) came onto me at the Eagle bar tonight (in Los Angeles). He was fat, effeminate, wearing sandals, a hawaiian shirt and shorts. His breath stunk of beer and he got really close and made me feel creeped out.

As best I can remember, here is a transcript of what transpired:

FATMAN: You're the sexiest guy in here, but I bet you know that already.
LTHRBOUND: Not quite... thanks anyway.
FATMAN: (feeling my bicep) So strong. Let's go into the bathroom and I'll show you my stuff.
LTHRBOUND: Sorry, I'm waiting for someone (a big lie) and I don't think you're into the things that I'm into.
FATMAN: Really? Like what?
LTHRBOUND: I like tying guys up and making them squirm.
FATMAN: Like you put dog collars on them and suck them off?
LTHRBOUND Uh... I'm a top and don't do much sucking. I enjoy tying them up and can even get quite sadistic at times.
FATMAN: You must have been abused as a child.
LTHRBOUND: Huh?
FATMAN: (emphatically and pompously) I have a degree in psychology and I know it means you were the victim of abuse if you like doing that to others.
LTHRBOUND: (huge pause as I gathered my thoughts) I knew you looked familiar!

Fortunately, the asswipe Fatman got it and left. I'm usually not quick on the retort but I am wickedly proud of myself this time! I should know better than to go to a supposed leather bar on a Sunday evening.